So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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