please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
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Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked