dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.