I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.