She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza