I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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