I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
