i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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