i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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