yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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