I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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