I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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