did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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