Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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