i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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