I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
