If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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