I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
