what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The beer is more important than you right now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
