Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize