Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
