am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize