I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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