honey bunches of taint.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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