This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
