That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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