erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
