I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
