quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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