i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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