We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
