so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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