i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
