I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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