hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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