Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
