is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
