Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
