Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
