he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize