I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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