Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
