I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
love makes seman taste better
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
