I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I could make wine with my vomit
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
