so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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