His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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