Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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