Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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