Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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