I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
