im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
