I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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