i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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