So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
