Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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