ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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