he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
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Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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