So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
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Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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