Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
