yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
