Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
