You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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