well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
