Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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