There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
