i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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